Just wanted to let you all know I'll be spending my birthday weekend like I normally do,
you know...eating an ice cream cone sundae in a monogrammed polyester cheerleading outfit
while my Uncle Ron offers witty asides about the horrible service.
Then I think I'll put on my Cosby Show sweater and glare at you if you try to take my picture,
because, *obviously*, I'm still mad about that home perm.