Monday, January 9, 2012


Sometimes I forget this website isn't a novel I'm writing wherein each chapter has to connect to the last; that there can be pregnant pauses, awkward silences, and sentences that don't get finished.  I get hung up on all the time that's passed since I last wrote and feel crummy, and then some of you remind me which I appreciate in an ungrateful sort of way. I feel loved and smothered all at once, which initiates the self-loathing cycle, followed by beautiful bursts of sparkly hope for real, inspired, progress. I can be more consistent, I think to myself...I WILL post at least weekly, not to mention exercise! And I WON'T even buy conversation hearts this year, because I've CHANGED!

This usually backfires; which I blame on the fact that real life doesn't come with its own soundtrack. I mean, don't you think if the above thoughts were put to music (Eye of the Tiger, obviously), I'd be more successful? I spent nearly every morning between my 13th and 18th years lip-synching in the mirror before school, and it totally pumped me up! Who cares if it was Oh Danny Boy, or that it made me so consistently late I actually had to go to school on a Saturday?! And clean with the custodians? At least I was motivated musically.

Things are fine here, if you'd wondered. Time passes, you know? I can't think of anything news-worthy,  I also can't actually remember these last few months too well. Today when the barista asked about my weekend and I hesitated, trying to recall, he winked knowingly, saying "then it must have been goooooood, right?"
"Sir," I said, "I am a mother. With insomnia. This forgetfulness is for real, and it might someday happen to you". Then I made my eyes look really big and crazy, in a silly way, to lighten the mood--so he wouldn't swear off kids right then and there, because they really are lovely, don't you think?


The Life of Blights said...

yay! You're back. For now. Or for whenever. We'll take what we can get- we're not fussy like that.

Amy G. said...

yay! proof of life!

Why is it that moms are always needing more rest/sleep/sanity but a good majority of old people only sleep about 6 hours a night and are totally okay with that?

Momma Shoe said...

They are so LOVELY! That photo is so sweet:)

jorunk said...

Sooo glad to read a post! I absolutely love your writing, Allison! Also, we would love to see you guys again...Scott misses his Joshy. Maybe we could meet up this winter? (Reminder: we live in Michigan now) Hugs and smooches --- Jenny Runkel

Deborah said...

Conversation hearts. Dude.

Carmen said...

Yippee!! You have been Missed! Your writing is always so fresh and fun. It makes me smile just thinking about you and those darling kiddos! Hugs!