Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Immediate Action Req'd

Apparently, my child does not know her letters and numbers yet. Which is not that big of a deal, of course, except that she's like, the ONLY one behind.
When we found out, last week, that there might be a problem, I didn't react defensively. I mean, the logical explanation for her lack of academic progress can be found in these photos:

We've spent an entire year playing waitress, which works out great, because that might be the only job she'll be able to obtain.

Joshua thinks the problem lies in her not being able to memorize. Fine, I say. She just won't be one of those waitresses who can keep everybody's order straight in her head. She'll have to write it down.

The strange thing is, other than being the only child in her class who can't correctly identify the letters in the alphabet, she is, I've been told, "off the charts" in verbal communication. Like, heads and shoulders above everyone else. Great, I say. So she'll have to rely on her notepad to remember what the special of the day is-who cares? She's going to sell the pants off that soup du jour - what with all her fancy communication skills and everything.

Even so, we knew we had to take immediate action. It was difficult, but nobody ever said parenting was going to be a walk in the park. So, we spent the weekend binging on one final round of restaurant. And let me tell you, the place was packed. We could barely get a table. Afterward, though, we sat our sweet girl down on the couch and gave her a good old-fashioned talking-to.

Winnie, we said, you're four years old. It's time to get serious.

 I don't know about you, but I think we dodged a serious bullet.
Doesn't she look happy?


Deborah said...

M asked today if I remember the time we went to meet Winnie at the pool. I don't--do you? Did they serve a fabulous dessert course there that W might be able to recollect?

All those tables and charts are made up, FYI. Our kid still thinks Pluto is a dog--how behind can one child BE?

Jaime said...

This made me smile so much. I adore the pictures of Winnie- she's beautiful! - and your humor that goes along with raising children. It's a hard job, isn't it? Understatement!
with LOVE, jaime

Amy G. said...

{{-found your blog through Design Mom}}

great. the dishes and laundry will NOT be done tomorrow because I'll be busy reading your blogs beginning to end. and now I'm gonna have to get a babysitter.

thanks for the great writing/stories/pictures.
and keep it up.

Heather said...

Wonderful - WONDERFUL - blog. I, too, came here from Design Mom and I am smitten with your writing and perspective. I think yours is about to come my most favorite blog ever.

Other People's Chicken said...

I don't know how to comment on comments. Is that even a thing?

Deborah-I have no recollection of meeting y'all at the pool...although it sounds lovely. And yes, I know. Charts/Schmarts. Last night, out of the blue, Winnie read every letter in the words "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs", and then I, of course, screamed. So she'll probably never do THAT again.

Jaime-thank you, UNDERSTATEMENT!

Amy-I'm sorry to be the fly in the ointment as far as your laundry is concerned..but I TOTALLY understand the need to power through someone's entire blog archive, just in case it disappears from the internet overnight. :)

And Heather-Yay! I'm so glad you're here!

Amy G. said...

totally gasping for breath and on my 3rd pair of undies. I've made it through April and May... of Oh 9.

This might take a while... not to mention all the "extra" laundry I'm gonna have to do...

But enough about you - my blog could use some cleaning up of it's own but that's not likely to happen any sooner than the oil clean up in the gulf. You're welcome to check it out and see exactly who the loose bladder girl is that is lovin' your blog.

Inkspot Workshop said...

I a laughing so hard I am crying! Let's call her little "Flo"