Afternoon phone call:
Me: Is it wrong that while I lounge in bed with my shoes on, eating pistachio gelato and reading a novel, our children are next door in the care of someone else's nanny?
Him: There are several things wrong in that sentence.
Me: I mean, is it neglectful?
Him: Only if something bad happens to them over there.
Me: Like, say, they get crushed in a toy avalanche?
Him: That wouldn't happen.
Me: You haven't been in their basement. Wall to wall Barbies.
Him: You should have made them wear helmets.
Me: What's wrong with us? We have...like-NO toys!
Him: We have marbles.
Me: It's hard to stockpile marbles.
Him: But it's easy to trip on them.
Me: Why does that make me feel better?